I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
