We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
