You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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