Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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