Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
