how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
