Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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