I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
