he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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