How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
