This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
