If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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