did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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