As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
