I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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