Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
