I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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