Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
