Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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