i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
