what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
