I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
