SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
