From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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