I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Its about making memories worth repressing
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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