found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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