I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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