Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
