have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
