Sry I called you an 8
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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