did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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