remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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