He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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