I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
