Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
