Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
and you fell through a lawn chair
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
