dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize