Ambien. No doubt about it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
