im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
