Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
