I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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