i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
