I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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