Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
