i just wanna soil my oats bro
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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