Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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