i jhust puked up my retainher.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
