I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
