This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
