Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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