the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well you can't waste a boner
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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