Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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