i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
