Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
