the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
