Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
