My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
